Yesterday it took me four to five hours to get one medication.
It is the same medication I have been taking for five years. There is a five-year file, and a doctor who has been writing it the whole time. Nothing new in the case.
What those four to five hours looked like
I called the practice. They said yes, we will write it. I called back later. They said no, it was not accepted. They did not say why or let me ask. They just said no, and the call ended.
I went in person. I had another appointment right after, but I went in anyway, because there was no other way to get a real answer. I waited even though I had an appointment booked. I spoke to the doctor face to face. He said yes, we will do it this time, but next time bring a report.
I went to the pharmacy two hours later. There was no medication.
That was the whole day. Five years on the same prescription, and I still came home with nothing.
Doing this while autistic
Each phone call carries the script in your head, the explaining, the not knowing what tone the other person will take, the second call where you have to start from zero because no one wrote anything down. The in-person visit is the journey, the waiting room, the second appointment you are now late for, the conversation you have already had three times this week.
And I am doing all of this from inside the state the medication is meant to treat. I am not at full capacity, and I haven't been for a long time. To get the medication I need to function, I first have to function well enough to chase it.
The other small things
This is one medication. It is one small thing.
The same is true of every other small thing. The bank, the insurance, the form, the appointment, the email no one answered, the phone call you have to make again because the first one was lost. Each one looks small from the outside. Then it costs four hours, like yesterday.
There is no separate slot in the week for the small things. They fill the week by themselves, and after them there is no energy left for anything else. From outside it looks like I am not doing anything. Most days I am doing nothing but this.